Why we overreact: Understanding the stress reflex

You are wired normally if you have trouble with over-reacting to each new life event each and every day. Some people have more trouble in their lives than others with this ‘over-reactivity’ based on Temperament, Neurodiversity and/or Trauma History. 

In this brief blog post, I want to provide a general coping strategy to help all of us take our over-reactivity less seriously in all non-emergency situations.

The role of the stress reflex and adrenaline in sudden overreaction

Once our Adrenaline Injectors have reflexively activated our Stress Reflex we are immediately transported to our Fight, Flight and Freeze problem-solving Central Nervous System (CNS) Zones for sudden decision-making in order to save our lives if necessary. 

This Adrenaline Network makes our available decision choices on a Binary Menu Option basis only:

• All or Nothing

• Black or White

• Life or Death

• Good or Bad

• Either-Or

• Right or Wrong

• Should or Should not Reasoning System

We are suddenly forced to choose an option, we think. In a True Emergency this Sudden Perfectionistic Binary choice system can save our lives. 

However, most of the time the situation is not an emergency at all and these available binary choices are not a match to the context. And it’s time to admit: Whoops, False-Alarm, Never Mind. 

You are safe and there are no tigers about to eat you for their supper.

Now what?

Turning the fight, flight, freeze response into a calming strategy

Well, there is already a flood of too much Adrenaline in your Neurological System. OK. Since the Adrenaline is already in our system, we might as well take advantage of it and convert it to our Preferential Purposes instead of over-reacting, Re-Purposed Adrenaline, if you will. 

Let’s just call this: Re-Purposed Adrenaline Maneuver, RPAM, for short. So, at this point you are in a HOLD mode and refusing to be fooled into another False-alarm Over-Reaction decision.

Follow the Steps below instead of making a sudden binary choice from the Fight, Flight or Freeze drop-down menu options. 

Here we go.

5 Steps to Manage the Stress Reflex Using RPAM

There are 5 Steps to do the RPAM well enough to benefit in real time everyday of your life.

1. Check for immediate danger

Ask yourself:  Am I in an Immediately Life-Threatening situation or not?                                                 

If not, tell yourself you are safe enough to Calm down just a little if you want to. Say this out loud if possible, ‘I am Safe Enough to Calm Down a little if I want to.’

2. Exhale deeply and completely

Exhale all of the Unexpired Air from your lower lobes of your lungs.

3. Relax the body to soothe the nervous system

Relax your shoulders by allowing them to drop away from your ears as low as they will go while gently lengthening your neck.

Repeat Steps 1, 2, & 3 several times now very slowly.

4. Transition out of the overreactive state

At this point your muscles and lungs are a little more relaxed even though you have a lot of Adrenaline on board. Congratulate yourself for Relaxing Anyway, even though you are Stressed. 

Continue slowly transitioning to your Relaxation Response Zone in your Central Nervous system (CNS) by: Refusing to Judge yourself or the situation you are in for this moment. Say out loud if possible: ‘It is what it is and that is all.’ 

Refuse to think further about it right now. Refusing to judge the situation or yourself right now will relax your mind and unlock all of the other decision-making choices available to you right now. 

5. Shift into personal preference decision-making

Personal Preferences  are the myriad choices available to you when you are in your Relaxation Response Zones of your CNS. 

Once you are here in your Mind Body Relaxation Zone ask yourself out loud if possible:

• “What do I want to see happen overall in this situation?”

• “What is best for me in the long-run where this situation is concerned?”

• “What do I want to see happen here?”

Reducing overreactivity by honoring your calm preferences

Take your time. The Relaxation Zone of your CNS is friendly and allows for identity and Individuality to be part of your decision-making tree. 

Make each decision more uniquely your own by honoring your Preferences with your behaviors and your words in as many of your non-emergency situations as possible, starting today. Remember: life is not about getting what we want all the time. 

It is, however, about empowering ourselves to know what that is. Standing up for your Personal Preferences in a relaxed way is the Empowerment Journey to truly believing you matter in your world. 

Good luck!